i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
