Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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