If i come over, it means nothing
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
