I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
You need a sexual gate keeper
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
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