i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
