do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
