you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
