There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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