i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
