Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
