I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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