There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
So squirting runs in the family.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
