I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Randomize
