I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
