im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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