I showed him my bush... on skype.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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