Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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