At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
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