i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
