He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
