It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
a search helicopter?!
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
