i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
