Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
