even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
