I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
