talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Randomize
