I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
so let's talk penis.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
