She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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