I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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