He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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