im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
