I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
