This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
