I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
