I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
