somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
