He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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