just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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