check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
