I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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