AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Mom said you looked used
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Can I color on your dick again?
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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