he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
