Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
