She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
