alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Randomize
