I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Randomize
