What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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