Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I just gargled with NyQuil
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
