seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
bring money and cleavage
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
My vagina is very pro this idea
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
