Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
