His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
